The Celtics Steamrolling the Sixers Was the Perfect Way to Open the 2022-23 Season

Well, folks, Tuesday night marked the official start of the Boston Celtics’ 2022-23 season – a season in which they’ve ascended the ranks from merely an above-average team on the cusp of playoff birth to a true Eastern Conference Finals contender. Now I’ve already heard talk of the Bucks (for whatever reason… the Celts literally topped em in the semis BEFORE picking up Malcomn Brogden but whatever) and there’s always some overzealous Sixers fan that’s adamant it’s "finally" their year to claim the title. It goes without saying, yes the Celtics are expected to make another deep playoff run. However, certain things that transpired during the offseason have led to questions that remained unanswered until Tuesday night **cough cough Ime Udoka and his dong cough cough**

If there was any doubt going into the game about how the Celts would respond to the devastating NBA Finals loss to they who shall not be named, it had dissipated completely by the time the 3rd quarter came around. From start to finish, beginning with that incredibly moving tribute to Celtics legend Bill Russel (excuse Jaylen Brown’s almost comically horrendous stammering) and ending wih Tatum and Brown’s exmplempary demonstration of leadership in the post-game interviews, this team delivered us devoted fans basically everything we could’ve asked for.

When a team comes that close to having it all and experiences anguish on that level, it results in a collective shift in mindset from the players. And that’s exactly what we saw happened over the off-season. This team was absolutely NOT fucking around. They only turned the ball over 10 times the entire game. That’s an astronomical improvement from the Celtics (albeit dominant) I watched falter to Golden State in June. These Celtics looked ready to steamroll any opponent they faced. Yes, this was just the first of many games to be played this season, but getting that first one coming off a loss in the Finals was crucial. I personally needed to see a dub last night to restore my morale, and thank God my boys delivered. Let’s unpack the game.

Jason Fucking Tatum

Needless to say Jason Tatum had a horrific NBA Finals. Could it be attributed to his incredibly surprising (to be easy on him) decision to publicly share the text he sent the late Kobe Bryant? – A text in which he dedicated his spectucular game 7 performance to the legend. I don't know. But I do know I was practically falling off my couch eagerly waiting to see how Tatum opened up the season, especially since he's notorious for starting seasons off SLOW.

And what does this man do? He pops the hell off and goes 35/12/4 on 13 - 20 shooting. Tatum was locked in and comfortable, sinking contested jumpers like Steph. But that's not what distringuishes his as one of the NBA's elite players. Yes, he's an offensive juggernaut. PJ Tucker couldn't shut Tatum down for shit. What makes him such an asset to the Celtics is his ability to deliver on the defensive end as well. He's like the Patrice Bergeron of the Celts. He had a steal or two, a block, and provided constant ball pressure throughout the entire game, which is exaclty what the team needs out of leader like Tatum. Just listen to him talk in the post-game interview about his off-season and his mindset coming into this game.

That, my friends, is a man that is fixated on success. He was READY to show everybody he wasn't taking that loss in June lightly. Apart from his seemingly flawless jumpers, I was impressed by the improvement in his floater game as well. Well all know that was one aspect of his game that desperately needed work. If he can consistently hit a couple extra of those shots a game for the Celtics, that could be a game changer. It's worth mentioning in the 3rd quarter Tatum put up 17 points HIMSELF while the Sixers' entire team barely managed to scrape up 25.

Double Trouble – Jaylen Brown

Talk about a goddam dynamic duo. Bye Bye Harden and Embiid. I've always said one of the great things about the current state of the Celtics' offense is the fact that we've got two top-tier god-level NBA players in Jason Tatum and Jaylen Brown. Their chemistry is off the charts. Don't believe me? According to @NBAHistory on Twitter, Brown and Tatum are the first pair to each put up over 35 points (70+ points combined for those like me that are too lazy to do simple addition) in a season opener since Wilt The Stilt Chamberlain and Jerry West did it in 1969 with the Lakers. For those that don't understand how long ago that was, the Beatles were still together the last time a duo accomplished such a feat.

However, let's all take a moment to appreciate the fact that Brown went 35/3/2/2/1 on 14-24 shooting and was the glue that held the Celtics together during the fourth quarter, the quarter this team is notoriously lously in. Now this may speak more to how Mazzulla is already leaving his mark on the team, but I won't digress just yet. Jaylen led the scoresheet in the fourth, making 13 of his 35 shots and shooting 5-7 from the floor. It was Brown that gave the Sixers the final gut punch to end the highly anticipated game. I especially loved the way he stuck up for his boy Tatum in his post-game interview because lord knows that embarrasingly dirty play (you know the one I'm talking about) by Embiid was no accident.

Again, talk about the leadership from the Celts' top dogs. He stood up for his teammate and sent a message out that the Celtics aren't standing for any bullshit, coming off a postseason riddled with injuries. That shit sends goosebumps down my spine and gives me an overwhelmingly positive outlook on how this season will progress. Now, speaking of our defending DPOY...

Marcus Smart's Defensive Prowess

All of the whiny little complainers who are still butt-hurt over Smart winning DPOY can go complain a little bit more because if he plays the rest of the season the way he did Tuesday night, Smart's looking to extend that title for sure. On the offensive side, he hit a clutch three, took 8 FGA, and was a magnificent playmaker, notching 7 assists and just one turnover, which he then defended vigorously. Dan Greenberg of Barstool Sports noted that while guarding James Harden on 25 possessions, he allowed only 3 points and while guarding Tyrese Maxey on 13 possessions, he only let up 4. PJ Tucker couldn't even score on him LMFAO. It's indisputable that the DPOY title is fitting with Smart. Now this next point brought me ever so much joy to write...

Malcolm Brogden Fits in Boston

Jesus, Brad Stevens sure knew what he was doing when he traded for Malcolm Brogden. Prior to this aquisition, Stevens told The Athletic that he believed bringing in Brogden could benefit the team because of his veteran prescense and ability to stay locked in, calm, and collected in tight situations. His intuition proved right (who would've guessed huh? LOL it is Brad Stevens after all), as Brogden played just under 25 minutes and went 16/2/4 on 7-11 shooting. And guess what??? This man can make his layups. Hallelujah!! Layups were a HUGE part of the adversities the Celtics faced during last year's playoff run, so it was oh so refreshing to see him attack the paint hard and create his own shot at any point in time. Almost every time he touched the ball in the offensive end, he forced the defenders to choose between collapsing in on him, leaving shooters wide open, or allowing him to drive to the net and burry it. However, what was truly amazing came in the fourth quarter when the Celtics started Tatum and Brown on the bench. Brogden was able to control the Celts' defense enough to only allow 1 singular point to be trimmed from their lead. Let that sink in. I can confidently say if Malcom Brogden was on the Celtics last post-season, it would've been a Celts dub hands down, queue the Duck Boats... sadly that isn't reality though so moving on.

Joel Embiid Was Kinda Dogshit

At face value, 26/15/5 on 9-18 shooting looks pretty decent. But in reality, Emiid's presence Tuesday night was frivolous. There was all this jabber about how he'd wipe the floor with the Celts since Big Rob was out, but buddy had 7 FGM and turned the ball over SIX times. Not to mention Noah Vonleh absolutely put this man in jail. Embiid is just trash at defending delayed doubles, he always had been. The approach the Celtics took might not work against one of the NBA's most elite, but against Emiid, they knew he'd panic or turn the ball over time after time and they capitalized on that.

Final Thoughts

It's 7:20 Friday night and game 2 starts in 10 minutes... I'm fucking HYPED. Celts 2-0 after tongiht.